I'm Back

It's been a while that I haven't been writing in my blog. All this time I've been confused, lost and simply crazy about whole situation here. It's been 8 months since I arrived her and a lot has happen. Maybe the first few months I was rebellious against everyone but when I met Marco everything change, even me. I'm no longer the same spoiled brat who lived off her Dad's money, but rather I'm a young lady that learns the true value of a dollar and it's not easy to learn money. Just like 3 months ago, I decided to find a job Marco helped me out he's dad works in Target the one in South Gate and decided to get my a job. So now I'm working Target, eh it's okay at least it's money. At first working there I was terrified because I didn't know anything but now I know a bit more. Having a job has helped me a lot with having communication people, being responsible and have leadership skills. It's something that I would never imagine I'll have. I sometimes think that Sam from heaven is helping me out without him I don't know what I would be doing.

It's been a journey thus far, even though at first I didn't like enjoy living here, now I like living here in East L.A. This journey has taught me a lot, like who my real friends are. I remember I use to hang out with Alejandra and them, what was I thinking?  Now I valued the friends I have here, I may not have any many "friends" like before but at least I have the two best friends a girl who wish for. Vicky and Celina who've been the nicest people I've met in my life. I never imagine I would have been friends with them, Vicky super smart and Celina a little bit crazy but fun. Like this upcoming week we are going on a road trip with Vicky's family we're going to San Francisco. I'm looking for it. They think I need some distraction after what happen between Marco and I.

          It was the last week of school, I was waiting for Marco outside the usual spot by the parking lot, I       wait for hours and no show. I call and text him but no answer. I asked his friends if they've seen him and tell me that they haven't since the prior Friday. I was worried, so I decided to go his house. There was no one there, I look inside thru the window and nothing. Nothing was there, the house was empty it had been cleared out. I began to worry where did he go. Days pass, Weeks pass, and nothing. No email. No Text. No phone call. It seem like he disappeared. Until I got a letter in the mail it was from him saying that he moved and wasn't never coming back. He's sorry and it's over between us. No. I couldn't believe it. It was impossible, he couldn't have left just like that. From there I went into a major depression, I didn't want to do anything, just sat at home doing nothing but cry and eat. I gain 10 pounds since then. However my friends decided to do an intervention to get me out of that situation. Now I'm heading to the gym everyday, working again, and moving on. 

Crazy huh. Well hopefully by this upcoming year, my senior year so excited by the way, I'll be strong and don't let anyone hurt me like he did. I'm a strong independent woman, and I don't need a man. I've decided to be single for a while. Let's see how it goes huh. 

P.S. I'll write more often. Stay tune. 

Don't Feel Well

Monday again! Vicky and Karen have been wondering if something is wrong with me . I've told them that everything is fine and nothing is wrong of course you and I know it's not true. I think is that it still hurts me that Sam is no longer with me. I've been trying to distract with myself with school, it works but for a moment; then I try hanging out with Vicky and Karen afterschool but no use. I only thing that gets my mind out of Sam is Marco. I've been thinking in trying to talk to Marco again but I'm afraid of his rejection again. Rejection feels awful. I've seen Marco around with his friends, when he looks at me; he just grins at me and leaves. I sometimes I think that he's not mad at me anymore.  I think he's been dating someone else, I think that is why he's been in a good mood. Well I'm happy if he's happy. Like I said before I think I need time for myself. I hope this feeling goes away, I want to be happy and live life how it suppose to be.

Sam I miss you. Help me please. R.I.P Samuel Gonzalez

Day 7: I'm Catholic?

Sundays were meant for sleeping in and not for waking up at 6 in the morning. This morning I woke up with a big bang on the door, I slightly open my eyes and look over at the clock and realized it was 6:15 in the morning. Seriously, who get's up at 6 in the morning to go to church? My aunt, that's who, she was crazy if she thought I would get up. But after 3 times knocking on my door she clearly stated that I was expected to attend mass every Sunday if I ever wanted to get out of the house. I had no option but too accompany her and my cousin to church. I don't recall a time that I've been inside a church; I didn't know that I was Catholic. I mean, yeah, I grew up with certain values and traditions but not religious ones. I guess my mother was Catholic. Anyhow, if my aunt was expecting me to change of attitude or anything like that she was wrong. I grew up without God in my life and I could continue doing so. Let's see how the rest of the day goes. 

- Karyme

Day 6: No More Freedom

Last night was not so bad, seriously, I would have never imagined that I would actually enjoy myself at a simple hangout. I must admit that girl, Angie and her friends know how to have fun. There was music, food, games and of course under-age drinking. I wasn't much of drinker when I was in New York but last night I made an exception. I even met a guy his name is Rogelio, if I was in five senses I would have not talked to him however I'm glad that I did, he's an okay looking guy. Don't worry, I'm still in love with Peter but my girly senses tingled and just found the need to mention him.

However, there were consequences for my night not. According to my aunt Leticia, I should have asked permission before going out. She said that this not New York and cannot come and go as I pleased. Can you believe her? I mean, I understand that she is those type of parents who worry and stuff but please, I'm not her child. Due to that night of fun, I got punished and you know what my punishment was... to spend my Saturday with my dorky cousin Diego. My aunt asked him to take me a long to his soccer practice at the park and we both protested but neither of us had the power to convinced my aunt. I ended up going to the park with him and his buddies. I had to sit and watch them play soccer for almost 3 hours, eventually I did walk around the park. I cannot believe that my aunt obligated me to that, support the way Diego's friends kept flirting with me. That's just disgusting.

Today, I learned that I don't the total freedom like in New York and that's not fair.  Like I haven't said it enough, I hate my dad, ugh! Why did he have to be mean towards me? I have to do something to get out of here quickly and back to my Peter. It's been almost a week and I haven't heard from him. I wonder if my dad did something to him.


Well, let's see tomorrow turns out.

Karyme 

Day 5: The End of the Week

Hey, it's finally FRIDAY, the end of the week and most importantly no more school, well until Monday. You have no idea how much I loathe the school and the students. I rather have suffered in a boarding school than attend a public school. At least, it's Friday, I could take a breather from the school and chill out in my room. It's only been five days here and I'm already bored out of my mind. Right now, I'm just in my room listening to my iPod while I write to you all. If I was back home right now, I would probably be getting ready to go out with my love. Every now and then, Peter and I would sneak into his family's restaurant to eat Peruvian food then would go out dancing or go to the movies. It's been a week since I last saw him...

According to my aunt, I need to start making friends; she doesn't want me to be stuck in my room everyday. I don't know if that's a good idea, the people here are different from the people I usually interact, well except for Peter and his family. I know if Peter was here, he would say to give the people here a chance and I should not judge them because they live in a low- income area. Oh, Peter, I miss your advice and comfort. 

Today at school, I was invited to a kick back at the one the girls that I met this week, Angelica. I'm not sure if I've told you all about her; Angie, from what I could tell she and I could be best friends. We have the same taste in style and enjoys the attention from everyone. Anyways, I'm doubting if I should go because I barely know her and I don't know what type of people who she hangs out with.
I don't want to be trap in my aunt's apartment, maybe I should go and have a bit of fun. The words of Peter are still flowing in my head. #thanks a lot


Wish me luck .

- Karyme 

Day 4: Not a good day.

This morning when I got from bed I realize that I didn't have anything to wear that's when I realize that I need to go shopping. But how can I, if I've been cut off? Then I remembered the credit card that Rebecca had sneaked into my suitcase. I had a moment of happiness until I realize how was I going to buy stuff without my aunt noticing. My smiled into a frown. I cannot survive of weekly allowance of 20 dollars, at that rate I will never get the things I want. Unless I tell my aunt that I got a job, that will be a perfect story to cover up the clothes. But will she buy the story? I'm back where I started, I need to sneak the clothes in but how? I'll get back to that.

Other than my wardrobe dysfunction, I encountered myself sitting next to a jerk, his name is Marco. Apparently he got mad because I didn't want to move from his so call "seat". I was like, it's just a seat dude. Then later in class he kept blocking me from the board which cause me not to write any notes. After class I confronted him but he just walked away like I didn't exist. No one walks away from me. I told myself. I hope not to encounter myself with him while I'm here.

And one more thing I should mention, the food. The food here is weird. I guess it's because my mom's side of the family is Mexican and only eat Mexican food. When I first arrived my aunt gave me a plate of refried beans with a couple of torillas and I'm like, that's all? Seriously? I've had better food than this and I'm a person who doesn't eat a lot. I need to learn how to cook so I could eat healthy and not eat this crappy food.

Today was not a good day.At least tomorrow is Friday. :)


                                          Karyme

Day 3: Feeling Eh'

Today school was unbearable, seriously, like I had three guys flirt with me and I'm like, "Thanks guys, but I have a boyfriend." But that didn't stop them from doing things for me. It felt nice to be pampered but I did feel uncomfortable at times. Other than guys hovering over me, I managed to meet two girls that I think I could possibly hang out. Their names are Jocelyn and Diana; they seem they have a sense of style and know how to run the school along with their "sister" Angelica, whom I haven't met yet. I know they won't replace my girls from back home but I need alliances and they will help me get around here.

Since I've been here my father hasn't called not once has he called to see how I'm handling this new lifestyle. What else can I expect from an absent father? Was I really a terrible daughter to him? Since my mom passed away, it's like he shows more affection towards Rebecca and I never understood why. I know I've been talking about my father in the last few posts, I guess this issue has been bothering me lately. I just wish I had Peter with him, whenever I talk to him about my dad he finds the right words to consulate me.

I'm confess to you all that I'm home sick, yes, believe or not, I miss my house in New York. I previously stated that I would have  preferred to live anywhere else than there but I miss it. I miss talking to my maids every morning and laughs we use to have. (I wasn't a snobby rich girl, I was nice) And even though it was quiet because no one was hardly there I preferred that than living in a noisy neighborhood.

Just a few minutes ago, my aunt Leticia and my dorky of a cousin Diego walked into my room with two pieces of furniture, a desk and a chair, and in addition a 19' inch television.As if that's going to make my stay here any better. I need to endure this new lifestyle.

Well wish me luck.

                           
                                              Karyme