I'm Back

It's been a while that I haven't been writing in my blog. All this time I've been confused, lost and simply crazy about whole situation here. It's been 8 months since I arrived her and a lot has happen. Maybe the first few months I was rebellious against everyone but when I met Marco everything change, even me. I'm no longer the same spoiled brat who lived off her Dad's money, but rather I'm a young lady that learns the true value of a dollar and it's not easy to learn money. Just like 3 months ago, I decided to find a job Marco helped me out he's dad works in Target the one in South Gate and decided to get my a job. So now I'm working Target, eh it's okay at least it's money. At first working there I was terrified because I didn't know anything but now I know a bit more. Having a job has helped me a lot with having communication people, being responsible and have leadership skills. It's something that I would never imagine I'll have. I sometimes think that Sam from heaven is helping me out without him I don't know what I would be doing.

It's been a journey thus far, even though at first I didn't like enjoy living here, now I like living here in East L.A. This journey has taught me a lot, like who my real friends are. I remember I use to hang out with Alejandra and them, what was I thinking?  Now I valued the friends I have here, I may not have any many "friends" like before but at least I have the two best friends a girl who wish for. Vicky and Celina who've been the nicest people I've met in my life. I never imagine I would have been friends with them, Vicky super smart and Celina a little bit crazy but fun. Like this upcoming week we are going on a road trip with Vicky's family we're going to San Francisco. I'm looking for it. They think I need some distraction after what happen between Marco and I.

          It was the last week of school, I was waiting for Marco outside the usual spot by the parking lot, I       wait for hours and no show. I call and text him but no answer. I asked his friends if they've seen him and tell me that they haven't since the prior Friday. I was worried, so I decided to go his house. There was no one there, I look inside thru the window and nothing. Nothing was there, the house was empty it had been cleared out. I began to worry where did he go. Days pass, Weeks pass, and nothing. No email. No Text. No phone call. It seem like he disappeared. Until I got a letter in the mail it was from him saying that he moved and wasn't never coming back. He's sorry and it's over between us. No. I couldn't believe it. It was impossible, he couldn't have left just like that. From there I went into a major depression, I didn't want to do anything, just sat at home doing nothing but cry and eat. I gain 10 pounds since then. However my friends decided to do an intervention to get me out of that situation. Now I'm heading to the gym everyday, working again, and moving on. 

Crazy huh. Well hopefully by this upcoming year, my senior year so excited by the way, I'll be strong and don't let anyone hurt me like he did. I'm a strong independent woman, and I don't need a man. I've decided to be single for a while. Let's see how it goes huh. 

P.S. I'll write more often. Stay tune. 

Don't Feel Well

Monday again! Vicky and Karen have been wondering if something is wrong with me . I've told them that everything is fine and nothing is wrong of course you and I know it's not true. I think is that it still hurts me that Sam is no longer with me. I've been trying to distract with myself with school, it works but for a moment; then I try hanging out with Vicky and Karen afterschool but no use. I only thing that gets my mind out of Sam is Marco. I've been thinking in trying to talk to Marco again but I'm afraid of his rejection again. Rejection feels awful. I've seen Marco around with his friends, when he looks at me; he just grins at me and leaves. I sometimes I think that he's not mad at me anymore.  I think he's been dating someone else, I think that is why he's been in a good mood. Well I'm happy if he's happy. Like I said before I think I need time for myself. I hope this feeling goes away, I want to be happy and live life how it suppose to be.

Sam I miss you. Help me please. R.I.P Samuel Gonzalez